Archive for August 6th, 2012
HCA, the largest for-profit hospital chain in the country, is confronting evidence of unnecessary cardiac treatments at some of its medical centers in Florida after a nurse’s complaint prompted an internal investigation.
The inquiry found that the complaint was far from the only evidence that unnecessary — even dangerous — procedures were taking place at some HCA hospitals, driving up costs and increasing profits.
With the now well-confirmed landing of an extraterrestrial vehicle on our upper crust, the United Governments Association (UGA) has issued the following joint statement:
UGA Can No Longer Obscure The Truth
OK, we’re not alone. There, we said it. We have hinted at it in the past, but we’re laying it on the line today.
What many of you saw last night on our crust world, actually did happened. As did those other 40+ reported UFO events during the past 50 years.
Those we couldn’t shoot down or otherwise disable, we said were "weather balloons." Worked every time. But not now.
Here’s the story our intelligence analysts say is most likely:
Seems the civilization that many have suspected exists on the rapidly disintegrating 3rd planet from the Sun, does indeed exist and has finally awoken to the fact that they’re destroying their own crust world, and have no means to stop or reverse the damage. Our analysts all concur, they’re looking for another crust world to settle.
DO NOT BE ALARMED
We have carefully examined every vehicle ever launched at us from the 3rd planet and are pleased to report, the technology thus far has been laughable.
Recall the images of those "bouncing weather balloons" that surfaced awhile ago.
Yep, that was them. How they ever made it last night is beyond us.
Nonetheless, we’re confident we’ll have plenty of time to figure out what we’re gonna do before any one of them can possibly get here.
That said, we haven’t exactly been sitting on our upper limbs. We began studying all electromagnetic radiation emanating from that planet soon after their first probe here, and now have some 50 years of what they term “radio & TV” communications to each other. As of tomorrow, it’ll all be available at your local library.*
The actual images of their civilization via "TV " can be rather hard to take if not prepared. Not when we started monitoring the planet, mind you, because many of us were charmed by this life form. But not now. We’re terrified by the devolution of this species' civilization, as well as planet.
When we started, they lived like this:
"Leave It To Beaver"
Today, it's looking like this:
“A Decade of Reality TV: Best Moments”
We’ve got some time. But our analysists all concur. If current trends continue, we’re screwed if/when they ever get here.
* Access to “radio & TV news” crystals restricted to those with G-12 credentials.
An intervention focused on healthy media use — including exposure to nonviolent and age-appropriate media content — improved the quality of sleep of children ages 3 to 5 over a 12-month period, according to a study published in the journal Pediatrics. The findings were based on almost 600 families of preschoolers living in the Seattle area.
Seniors who had low levels of vitamin D had 30% greater risk of death than those with higher levels, according to an analysis of data from a survey of more than 4,300 people older than 60. The risk of dying was higher among frail seniors. The findings appeared online in the European Journal of Clinical Nutrition.
A small but significant trend in newspapers is the gradual transition from relying on ad sales to relying on readers as a source of funding. The transition may be a good one in some ways, decreasing papers' reliance on serving up a product that appeals primarily to advertisers, but it may also mean a reduced audience, leading to less content and newspapers eventually catering to the interests of a narrower reading public.
German authorities announced that greater-than-allowed levels of the chemical dioxin were found in eggs from a poultry farm near Aurich in the state of Lower Saxony. The farm is the ninth where eggs with dioxin have been found in Germany since April. The farm has been closed and its eggs cannot be sold while investigations continue, the state's agricultural ministry said.